Remembering Mother

Some of the influences that shaped your life

By Arlene Harder, MA, MFT and John Fabian, Ph.D.


“On one thing professionals and amateurs agree: mothers can’t win.”
— Margaret Drabble, The Middle Ground

“No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.”
— Florida Scott-Maxwell, The Measure of My Days

“Out of the corner of one eye, I could see my mother. Out of the corner of the other eye, I could see her shadow on the wall, cast there by the lamplight. It was a big and solid shadow, and it looked so much like my mother that I became frightened. For I could not be sure whether for the rest of my life I would be able to tell when it was really my mother and when it was really her shadow standing between me and the rest of the world.”
— Jamaic Kincaid, Annie John

Topic Stimulators

  • How did your mother show she cared about you?
  • How did your mother criticize you?
  • In what ways do you wish you mother had been different?
  • How did your mother’s childhood impact her life?
  • How do you allow your mother to interfere positively or negatively in your life today?
  • What is the best thing your mother said or did that made a positive impact on you?
  • When do you see your mother in you?