Remembering Father

Some of the influences that shaped your life

By Arlene Harder, MA, MFT and John Fabian, Ph.D.


“It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was..”
— Anne Sexton, All God’s Children Need Radio

“I wanted him to cherish and approve of me, not as he had when I was a child, but as the woman I was, who had her own mind and had made her own choices.”
— Adrienne Rich, Split at the Root

“Cartoon of a wedding ceremony in which the minister asks the groom, “And do you, Roger, promise not to be like your father?”
— Bunny Hoest and John Reiner in, Parade magazine

Topic Stimulators

  • How did your father show he cared about you?
  • How did your father criticize you?
  • In what ways do you wish you father had been different?
  • How did your father’s childhood impact his life?
  • How do you allow your father to interfere in your life today?
  • What is the best thing your father said or did that made a positive impact on you?
  • When do you see your father in you?